This seems like a very normal question to ask someone, but today it felt loaded. I had no extravagant plans. I had nothing on the agenda that separated this day from any other. 42 years ago today, I came into the world. I love a good gift. I adore a fitting celebration. But somehow 42 seems less than monumental. So today's calendar included carpools and yoga and errands and kid's activities.
Between the errands and the afternoon carpool, I decided that repairing the two colors of toenail polish that were currently chipping away would count as my present to myself. The salon was empty. I sat in my chair and quickly tuned out the world. I was 10 minutes into a lovely and rare quiet moment when a gentleman came in. He made arrangements at the front counter and was quickly ushered to a nearby pedicure chair. His striking silver hair caught my eye and he met me with a friendly, "You don't mind if an old guy sits next to you, do you?"
No. I didn't mind at all. His inflection, presence and humor immediately reminded me of the voice that woke me this morning. He sat in his chair and it was quickly apparent that he was a regular customer. I listened as he visited with his attendant about his children and grandchildren. He fumbled with his iPhone to show her recent pictures of his granddaughter that is 13 going on 20. He was beaming. Taken by his adoring love, I wanted to know more. When he looked in my direction, he offered to show me her picture. It was flat adorable.
"I would give anything for my dad to come and enjoy a pedicure like you are today," I spoke up.
"What makes you think that I am old enough to be your dad's age?" he said with a smirk. Yep. This WAS Frank Bain!
Were no longer strangers. For the next 45 min we chatted. I explained to him that my dad suffered from neuropathy in his feet and I always wondered if this would be relaxing or excruciating. He shared with me about how he was diagnosed with Parkinson's 5 years ago and prior to that he cared for his nails weekly.
"Eventually I reached the point that I could not do it anymore, so I began coming here." he said.
It was at this moment that I wanted to sob. I wanted to feel all the feelings that were welling up in my heart and eyes, but I just listened. I shared with him about my dad and mom and their 46 years of marriage. He and his wife have 3 kids and 48 years...creepy familiar.
We talked about the number of pills he takes every day and how ridiculous the cost are. He told me about his 97 year old mother-in-law that lives up the street, and how she, his wife, his daughter and his granddaughter all come to this same salon. He was carrying a golf magazine. I asked him if he played.
"I always thought that I would play golf everyday in retirement, but I had to quit playing. My disease has taken my coordination. It's just hard." I could tell he really missed it. He told me about the 340+ courses all over the world that he played. We talked about his favorites. We talked about his memories of playing with his dad. It was wonderful. As we finished visiting, he asked me to type a website on my phone. I willingly opened my browser and followed his instructions.
"Tell your dad to check out this page. A friend of mine designs golf courses and I just know your dad would love to see some of these. They are amazing." And, so I did.
We finished our pedicures and our chat and I wished him well. He wished me a Happy Birthday (as apparently I added that to the conversation without remembering) and I left. I closed the door to my car and my eyes filled with tears.
You see, while I was getting my pedicure today, my Daddy was in his oncologist office. He's just finished his second week of chemo and my heart is especially tender in the dad zone. If you know my dad, you probably don't even know that he is in a treatment cycle. He cannot be stopped. He still makes and drives lunches to the homeless, coaches 8 year old machine-pitch softball, cheers on his swimmer at meets and attends school programs. He meets weekly with a high school senior that he has mentored since he was in the 4th grade. He participates in Sunday School, drives to hear me preach and fusses around the house. Just last week, he drove my mom to scout our Cousin's Camp Road Trip location for the summer and then went on to see his sisters in East Texas.
And, he plays some golf. He loves to get out on the course, even on days when he can't feel his feet, and swing a club. The cart path is his best companion. Energy and sunshine willing, you will find him there on Sundays with his best friend, Tuesdays with Senior Men's and usually at least one more time on the driving range. Golf is his escape from doctors and pills and nagging daughters with suggestions. It's a place where he can enjoy bantering over $3 and sharing a meal with those he loves and remembering great stories of adventures with his son. Oh, and that hole in one that he loves to recall.
I had no idea that a conversation about golf over a pedicure would be one of my best birthday gifts. I could not have planned it. It also made me ever so aware of the greatest gifts. My people are my world. The love I have for the many deep friendships and co-journeyers that this life has given me is unmatched. So. Much. Great. BIG. Love.
But for the man that has celebrated all 42 of the last April 25th's with me, there really are not enough words. This big, tough, strong headed bull of a girl is mush when it comes to her Daddy. He one of my greatest encouragers and there are not many places in the world that are as special to me as his lap. And, yes, I still fit.
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